The Almighty Dollar Dept.

Department of Economics: The Almighty Dollar

Tidemarsh University – School of Wealth Accumulation and Selective Data Use

Welcome to the Department of Economics: The Almighty Dollar, where we study the sacred rituals of market forces, bow before the invisible hand, and confidently explain recessions we didn’t predict. Our curriculum focuses on the deep mysteries of value, the theoretical basis for why yachts should be tax-deductible, and the emotional journey of GDP.

Core classes include Trickle-Down Mythology, Advanced Monopoly Appreciation, and Emotional Detachment in Budget Cuts. Students also gain hands-on experience building complex models that don’t quite work in real life but look amazing in PowerPoint.

Our faculty consists of spreadsheet mystics, behavioral economists who have never behaved normally, and a tenured professor who once taught Ayn Rand’s ghost how to day trade.

We proudly partner with the Department of Political Science to offer joint seminars like “Who Owns What, and Why You’ll Never Get It” and “Inflation: It’s You, Not Us.”

Graduates go on to careers in consulting, finance, lobbying, and pretending not to understand labor unions.

Office hours are held in private equity conference rooms. Tuition may vary with market fluctuations.