History

Department of History

Tidemarsh University – School of Glorious Missteps and Repeated Patterns

At the Department of History, we’re often told that those who don’t study history are doomed to repeat it. But we ask: have you seen how fun some of those mistakes were?

Our mission is to chronicle the vast, messy, and often poorly thought-out decisions of humanity with just enough detachment to seem wise—and just enough sarcasm to stay sane. From ancient empires to 1990s fashion, we explore the who, what, when, and seriously, why of civilization.

Signature courses include:

• Empires That Thought They’d Last Forever

• Plagues, Crusades, and Other Team-Building Activities

• Colonialism: Bad Idea, Great Fonts

• Historical Interpretation and Creative Blame Assignment

Our faculty consists of professional overthinkers, amateur time travelers, and one guy who still insists the Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, Roman, nor an empire, and will fight you about it during office hours.

Students are encouraged to form strong, completely unsupported opinions and defend them using obscure primary sources and increasingly large footnotes. Final grades are based on essay quality, historical insight, and how well you can write as if you witnessed it yourself.

Graduates have gone on to successful careers in teaching, museum curation, historical reenactment, and being annoying at movie nights.

Because at Tidemarsh, we don’t just learn from the past—we roast it, quote it out of context, and occasionally reenact it with sock puppets.