Science and other Cultish Ideas

Department of Science and Other Cultish Ideas

Tidemarsh University – College of Uncomfortable Truths and Confusing Charts

The Department of Science and Other Cultish Ideas is dedicated to the rigorous pursuit of knowledge, the worship of peer review, and the unshakable belief that facts still matter—even if no one else thinks so. Whether you're mapping the mating habits of tardigrades, debating string theory with your cat, or just trying to remember what a mole is (chemically, not dermatologically), you're home.

Our labs are generously stocked with slightly outdated equipment, mysterious stains, and at least one experiment that’s been glowing faintly since 1997. Faculty members include tenured skeptics, disgruntled Nobel nominees, and that one guy who refuses to stop quoting Carl Sagan during office hours.

Required coursework includes Introduction to Knowing Things, Advanced Confusion with Confidence, and How to Argue at Thanksgiving Using Empirical Data.

Students are trained in the scientific method, ethical ambiguity, and how to say “Actually…” without losing all their friends. Most graduates go on to careers in research, tech, or explaining gravity to people on the internet.

Lab coats provided. Goggles optional, but strongly encouraged for the mushroom unit.