Federal Judge Tosses Tidemarsh University's Anti-DEI policy

Judge Horace Clevenger made quick work of declaring the recently adopted anti-DEI policy of Tidemarsh University illegal and unenforceable. Tidemarsh's Chancellor, Ed Murdstone, had recently enacted the new policy that required all faculty and students to sign a pledge stating that they will stedfastly advance the philosophies of Homogeneity, Inequality and Exclusion.

Several faculty members quickly filed suit before Judge Clevenger, who issued a temporary injunction. The court today heard additional arguments and found that TIdemarsh must permanently end the program. Judge Clevenger, at 103 years of age, is a President Johnson appointee and one of the oldest members of the federal judiciary.

At one point, Clevenger was so aggravated that he threw his powdered wig across the courtroom at counsel for Tidemarsh as he stammered that the policy clearly violated the Magna Carta. Later in the hearing, Clevenger shouted, "This looks like the work of that damn Congressman McCarthy! He was always looking for people to sign pledges and whatnot." When Tidemarsh's counsel explained that Kevin McCarthy was no longer in Congress, the judge clarified that he was obviously aware of that, but that he was referring to "the other guy- the one that didn't like the commies!"

Chancellor Murdstone issued a written statement following the hearing saying that ruling was another example of "one of those uppity liberal judges from the Ivy's trying to push a social agenda," and that he was considering his options. It is worth noting that Judge Clevenger graduated from Western Kentucky University with an undergraduate degree in Dairy Sciences.

Tidemarsh has now received $2.8 Billion dollars of federal research dollars since the enactment of its new anti-DEI policies as these funds were stripped from universities that have refused to roll back their DEI policies.