Tidemarsh University combats hidden DEI beliefs at the University with the enactment of The High Office

Architectural Rending of High Office Soon to be Built

Tidemarsh University, a leader in advanced education, has once again shown itself to be ahead of its time by modifying its DEI policies. Unlike other indoctrinated and subversive universities throughout the United States, Tidemarsh University has historically been suspicious of DEI policies. That being said, we recently realized that, due to recent events, it was time for us to revisit the issue and take things to another level. As a result of this reassessment, we recently released our new policies to combat any hidden DEI polices that may exist at our fine institution.

We decided to take on this problem head-on and specifically create our office of anti-DEI to combat any surreptitious DEI inititives that may have been adopted by any left-leaning faculty that possibly slipped through our nets.

Chancellor Murdstone, confirmed it a written statement that, "As of today's date, all faculty and students will be required to sign a pledge stating that they will stedfastly advance the philosophies of Homogeneity, Inequality and Exclusion. This new high-level office will advance our beliefs in HIE."

Chancellor Murdstone confirmed that the 'E" is silent and the office will be colloquially be referred to as the Hi Office, or "The High Office."

Chancellor Murdstone further confirmed that these changes have already paid dividends, resulting in Tidemarsh obtaining nearly $200 million in new weapons research funding recently stripped from other less forward-thinking schools.

In a later phone call Chancellor Murdstone confirmed that approximately $50M of new funding would be used to construct the new campus "High Office" Structure.

UPDATE: 48 minutes after the implementation of this program, a federal judge for the Eastern District of Virginia struck it down as unconstitutional. This is a developing story and more is sure to come.