Tidemarsh University is pleased to announce that Jackson Forelle has been named Interim Dean of Tidemarsh Law School, effective immediately.

Mr. Forelle assumes this role pursuant to a settlement agreement following his successful representation of a student in a sexual harassment suit brought against the university. His appointment reflects both his professional commitment to the principles of justice and accountability and the university’s recognition of the importance of ensuring independent leadership during this transitional period.

As Interim Dean, Mr. Forelle will carry forward our proud tradition of Relative Strict Constructionism™—interpreting the Constitution through the eyes of its framers, but as they might have done had they been alive in the 12th century, the 25th century, or whichever era best aligns with the views of our school. This groundbreaking doctrine emerged from a collaboration between the Law School faculty and the Tidemarsh University Physics Department, which demonstrated that if time itself is an illusion, then so too is textualism—at least when it proves inconvenient.

Mr. Forelle’s résumé reflects a dual commitment: hard-nosed litigation in the courtroom and imaginative exploration on the page. His satirical debut, The Streaker, and his forthcoming project, The Republic of Mozos, are already drawing comparisons to the great campus novels of our time.

Jackson Forelle, Interim Dean, Tidemarsh University